Woman Develops Crush on Friend's Boyfriend, Decides to Confess to Her

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 26, 2023 12:30 PM EDT

Most of us have been attracted to people we shouldn't be at one point or another. It could be that co-worker you never thought about the same after a weird dream, or that cute friend who who's been in a relationship since forever. While these things may be taboo, the forbidden nature of them can make those feelings even stronger. 

Still, most of us have the decency to try and process these emotions privately. The majority of the time, admitting them will end in tears and drama (or getting laid, then a hell of a lot more tears and drama). However, that was something that didn't cross the mind of one Redditor, who took to the platform to ask if she was wrong to confess to her friend that she had a huge crush on her boyfriend. 

While the friend in question reacted graciously, other Redditors were inclined to be less sympathetic. It sounds like she cared much more about the man than her friendship. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Aware_Flounder6006 8h AITA for telling my friend that I have a crush on her boyfriend? So my good friend and I are usually very close. We are both in our late 20s now but we've known each other since high school. In all those years, our friendship has never been that rocky, until recently. My friend and her boyfriend met about 6 months ago. I'm currently in grad school and have chosen to remain single. Before they met, my friend and I would hang out at her place when I w
    via Aware_Flounder6006
  • 02
    Font - Last week, he went to visit family so hasn't been around. Last Friday, my friend wanted to know what I thought about him, because they were thinking of moving in together. I basically gave her a rundown similar to the last paragraph, and this prompted her to say it sounded like I had a crush on him. She said it in a joking way, so I sort of just laughed it off. But then I just sort of blurted out that I honestly think I do have a crush on him. It got super awkward when I said that and I i
    via Aware_Flounder6006
  • 03
    Font - cranbeery 4d Colo-rectal Surgeon [38] YTA. Time to apologize for crossing a line and assure her you would never act on it, up down and sideways, and mean it. Also, don't push back on her request to limit contact with him for a while. It's totally understandable that she's not comfortable with that under the circumstances.
    via cranbeery
  • 04
    Human body - Derpazor1 4d OP's friend is handling it with such grace, I really admire that. OP, you need to apologize and show grace too.
    via Derpazor1
  • 05
    Font - joanclaytonesq 4d Pooperintendant [66] What did you think would happen? Not everything needs to be shared, and it's definitely not appropriate to tell your friend you have a crush on their partner. You can't be this obtuse. Of course YTA here.
    via joanclaytonesq
  • 06
    Font - badmamagemma 4d YTA - in my opinion, you disrespected your friendship AND her relationship by being so casual about your feelings which, purely based on how you've written about them, seem to cross a line. whether or not you (or he) genuinely think these feelings can evolve into something more, it's insensitive not to think about your friend. for the record, the fact that she responded as well as she has and is trying to maintain both her relationship with you and her relationship with hi
    via badmamagemma
  • 07
    Human body - VeeEyeVee 4d I applaud the friend for being so mature in her response - breath of fresh air on this sub!
    via VeeEyeVee
  • 08
    Rectangle - HardWorkinMerkin 4d YTA. You put your feelings first and you're continuing to do so by acting like she's now taking something from you. You put her in a sh t situation. I'm surprised she's keeping you as a friend at this point.
    via HardWorkinMerkin
  • 09
    Font - 543 odd_inu 4d 1 Award YTA. now she's depriving me of a genuine friendship that has grown between me and him How? If your entire friendship ends when you stop hanging out with his girlfriend during the week, I don't see how you are that close. It kinda sounds to me more like he was being nice to his girlfriend's best friend and you are misinterpreting it as more meaningful than it is. Now she wants to draw some boundaries to squash this situation that makes her uncomfortable and your resp
    via odd_inu
  • 10
    Font - crazycarrotlady 4d YTA, there isn't really a reason you needed to tell her you had a crush on him. That's something you need to deal with internally or in therapy tbh. Honestly if you found yourself crushing on him to the point where you were to cross boundaries or it was affecting your ability to crush on other people, the right thing to do would be to take the initiative to distance yourself from him for the sake of your friendship with your friend (and for your own sake).
    via crazycarrotlady
  • 11
    Font - 40 capmanor1755 4d Professor Emeritass [98] YTA, not for having caught a crush but for being irritated she's closing down your relationship with him. She was about as gracious and kind as can be. Now you need to decide- do you want her friendship or not? This crush isn't going anywhere so are you willing to mourn it in private?
    via capmanor1755
  • 12
    Font - bounder Little Entrepreneur 4d Partassipant [1] YTA. I agree with NAH because at least you were upfront and honest, but it seems you knew how you felt about him prior to your convo with your bff and you should have distanced yourself from him on your own accord. Your friend has been (in my opinion) incredibly graceful over the whole situation. You're lucky you get to keep your best friend through this ordeal. You are a huge a shole for being offended at her and not texting her back for pu
    via Little_Entrepreneur
  • 13
    Font - blockparted 4d A shole Enthusiast [6] She said it in a joking way, so I sort of just laughed it off. But then I just sort of blurted out that I honestly think I do have a crush on him. It got super awkward when I said that and I immediately felt like I screwed up. She likely was NOT joking and was sussing you out to see if you did have feelings for him. You were under no obligation to tell the truth in this situation. You are not owed a friendship with this person, thus you are not being
    via blockparted
  • 14
    Font - chriswillar 4d Partassipant [2] I'm sorry, what did you expect? That she would be totally cool about you drooling over her partner? Gurl... It's a no-go, which has ruined many relationships (both romantic and platonic ones). Honestly, her setting that boundary seems very mature, appropriate AND respectful of your friendship. Step back, reign yourself in and sort out your feelings before all three of you meet up on the regular again. YTA
    via chriswillar
  • 15
    Font - Fred Trail 4d Partassipant [1] YTA. Guess who was blindsided? Hint: it wasn't you. And yes, this is entirely your fault. Try to salvage your friendship with your longtime friend, and don't make it about you or your friendship with her boyfriend.
    via FredTrail
  • 16
    Font - jdessy 4d A shole Enthusiast [5] I think, because of your reaction to her very reasonable text, YTA. If you felt disappointed by her response but just wanted to know if it was a mistake to admit your crush, I would have voted differently. But anger and being blindsided? I'm not really sure WHY you didn't expect this response to you telling her that you like her boyfriend. It was fine for you to tell her because now she knows, but you can't be angry at her response because the dynamic betw
    via jdessy
  • 17
    Font - Consistent_Patient88 4d YTA you've basically just told her you have romantic feelings for her boyfriend. How can you be angry at her response. You're supposed to be her best friend and have spent most of your post saying how lovely he is, and how he's the most beautiful man you've seen. If you got a chance, I guarantee you'll take it. Your friend is trying to salvage both relationships. You're totally in the wrong here.
    via Consistent_Patient88
  • 18
    Font - BornWeiner 4d You know it's your fault. She's going to tell her bf so you probably lost him as a friend too because of the awkwardness. If you want to be friends with her listen and do as she asks. If not you'll lose both of them. YTA
    via BornWeiner
  • 19
    Font - Critical-Musician630 4d Asshole Enthusiast [7] YTA. But a small one. You keep those feelings to yourself. The chances of anything positive coming from telling your friend you are crushing on her boyfriend that she is going to move in with are so so low. You can be mad at your friend, no one can tell you how to feel obviously. But she is setting a very reasonable boundary here. Plus, chances are she is going to tell him you like him, which would have made it pretty awkward anyways.
    via Critical-Musician630
  • 20
    Font - ksukitty 4d A shole Enthusiast [7] YTA---Not for the crush but for your response to her text. She was put in a tough spot and showed that she valued your friendship enough to try to make it work while respecting her relationship. Your only thought was losing contact with him. She clearly cares more about you than you do her. Also, I will add. Sounds like he was being nice to you for her sake. Pretty sure, those days are over at this point.
    via ksukitty

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boyfriend friendship confessions aita romance relationships confession Reddit crush
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